in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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