bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
