Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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