his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
