the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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