The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
