omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
