so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
