Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
