we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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