Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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