i permit you to call me
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize