There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
