Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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