he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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