i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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