I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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