But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
