Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
