do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
