No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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