Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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