So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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