i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Randomize
