I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize