my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
