so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize