You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
