a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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