loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
