She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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