You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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