This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You have to summon your inner elephant
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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