I want to have your abortion
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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