is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
try to milk me bitch
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
