dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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