Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
