Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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