Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
