i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
