We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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