I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
