She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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