it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
