The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I want to fling myself into the sun
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
