I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
