I think my vagina is haunted
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
