im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
is it fun? or sober?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
