You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
