if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize