just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
