I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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