Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Man, jail baloney is awful.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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