we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize