dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Your cock deserves a montage
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
