Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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