I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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