I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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