ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
