Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm jealous of your bromance
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize