$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
