My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
tell me about the fingering
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize