i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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