you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
