you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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