check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
