I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize