hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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