I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
