quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
