just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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