I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
